On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
