whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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