I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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