In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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