It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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