shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
