gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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