I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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