Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
