i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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