omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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