I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
and she was petting her beer can
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
