He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
