I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
