you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
