Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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