I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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