Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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