What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
