I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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