if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
