They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
