They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
