But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize