At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
