You really coming over, don't trick.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just had sex bonerless
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
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