Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
