I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
