Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize