News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
