I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize