there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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