I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
