a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
