:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
