Grow some girl-balls and come out already
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize