when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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