i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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