The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
