I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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