I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
