I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize