I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
