Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
