I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
