from now on my penis is your penis
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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