batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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