I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have post one night stand depression
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