I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
