This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
