the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
