just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
