Nicole vs. Life
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
