Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize