I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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