Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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