Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
