well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
