I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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