sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
